A year ago I never would have imagined that today I’d be sitting here on this rock; surrounded by brilliant February sunshine, waiting in silence for a few moments before heading to class. It never occurred to me as a possibility a year ago that I might be returning to school life just wasn’t going in that direction. Yet now here I sit as a mother of two young ones, a wife, a daughter, a caregiver, and now also a student. Working life agreed better with me I’ll admit. I like the conversation by the proverbial water cooler and the power that comes from working as a group towards a common goal. School feels way more individualistic to me. ‘Every woman for herself’ so to speak. (Not that I enjoy group projects cuz let’s be honest who does), but I do miss working with people, alongside people and for people other than myself. But God works in mysterious ways, the pieces have fallen into place so that here I can sit enjoying a quiet morning coffee (hot! huzzah!).
Being a mother has challenged me to be more than I ever thought I could be. I experience everything in toddler extremes: too hot, too cold; very angry, very sad; incredibly happy, incredibly depressed; immensely tired, immensely grateful. Everything it seems is an extreme and I’m unable to determine where I am in all of this. So here I am on this journey, a path I thought I was settled on abruptly ended, and I’ve been transported here, backward in some respects to begin again on this path of school. If it weren’t for the wedding ring, two kids, and a few…ok many…grey hairs I’d say I almost feel like I’m back in my first year of Universtiy. But so much has changed since then, I’d like to say I’m a better, more fulfilled, more solidly grounded human being now… but I’d be lying. I’m exactly as I was 15 years ago, not entirely certain what i’m doing here, where i’m going and how exactly i’m going to make it through.